Today, I’m confessing something BIG… something that I never thought I’d ever say out loud, let alone on the internet, but it’s something that I think needs to be said. I’ve buried my feelings when it comes to this subject for years because, I’ll admit, it’s a little embarrassing. And because I don’t want people to feel sorry for me. But, when I started thinking about it, there has to be other people out there just like me, feeling all of the same things I’m feeling. If I don’t share my story, maybe the people out there that feel the same way I do will continue to feel alone. I believe there’s something about being vulnerable that brings people closer together. Vulnerability makes people look inward and say, “I’ve felt that way too.”

After reading that paragraph, you’re probably wondering what in the world I’m talking about… well, I’m talking about how it feels to be a single wedding photographer. Not single as in I’m running the business by myself, you all know that I have an incredible business partner! I’m talking about being single as in I don’t have a love story that matches up to stories that Hannah and I get to tell each time we document a wedding.

I’ll be honest, finding someone to date in this day and age is really hard. Many people keep to themselves and connect with others mostly through the safety of social media. It seems as though the days of walking up and talking to one another are fading fast, which makes meeting someone very difficult. Dating apps like Tinder and Bumble are running rampant, especially in my age group, which casts out a more traditional girl like me from the dating game. Swiping on those apps leaves me feeling extremely judgmental and nauseated because everything is so surface level. Also, it’s impossible to know what other people’s intentions are because, truthfully, you can act like anybody you want to online.

Some days when I’m feeling particularly single, I can feel the green-eyed monster of jealousy come out when I’m editing wedding photos or hearing a client’s beautiful love story at a client meeting. I hate when that happens because I’m genuinely happy for our clients. I kick the monster in the face as hard as I can and move on to the next thing, but it’s always there waiting in the background.

But, you know what? It’s not always bad…

There are other days that being a wedding photographer makes the single life better. On a wedding day when Hannah and I get to witness our clients promise before God to take care of one another for the rest of their lives, when they hold each others’ shaking hands, when they shed happy tears, I’m reminded that God has a plan for me. A plan that will lead me to my person. I’m reminded to be patient because I’d rather wait on the sidelines until God brings me the right one to walk through life with than go on dates with random strangers on the internet.

Well, there it is! One of the scariest things I’ve ever put out on the internet. If you’re out there sipping coffee in a local Starbucks, sitting on the couch at home, or scrolling through your phone at work, and feel even a little bit like me, I’m telling you it’s ok to feel jealous every now and then. I’m cheering you on as you kick the green-eyed monster in the face. I’m giving you permission to feel sad sometimes. I’m sending you a virtual hug and encouraging you to be patient and trust in God. He’s got a plan, and it’s better than we could ever imagine.

Sending you lots of love,

Chelsea